Morning Sick
by This Account Is Totally Dead
Summary: It began over morning sickness. Pan is desperate, Marron is ill, Bra is determined, Trunks is repressed and Goten is... slightly traumatized by it all, really. [Crack, TP, GM, matchmaker!Bra & I LIVE ZOMG.]


**I LIVE! XD** _This story is dedicated to Brandon B., at this point probably the oldest of my internet friends and always reliable for a chat or a play-by-play runthrough of a story or character idea. Told you I'd probably write something again someday... although this probably wasn't what either of us had in mind. :P_

* * *

It begun innocently. Or it would've, had two different people been involved. So maybe it didn't begin so much innocently as suddenly - very suddenly.

To be completely truthful, it began over morning sickness.

Although if you were going to start with _that_, you really needed to travel even further back - if Marron's pregnancy was the real cause, then one could argue that the seduction was quite a long way in the works by the time the unfortunate bet occurred.

One could start it five months earlier then that, actually, but that would be _too_ long a time to explain away as setup. Let us suffice to say that five months ago Bulma threw herself a rather extravagant birthday party that lead to one Goten Son noticing that little noseless Marron had in the past few years gotten quite cute and well-nosed. Which in itself led to marriage and resulting pregnancy and morning sickness - which led to one very tired Goten (who, being a rather good husband had stayed up nearly all night with said sick wife) crashing at his elder brother's house with hopes of sleeping while Marron visited with her family at their home.

And, since Pan had always been rather fond of her uncle, this led to her not letting him sleep at all and instead pouring him a large cup of coffee and asking him (and Bra, who happened to be over) for advice on her love life.

See, Pan had a problem with it: It wasn't happening.

"That's 'cause you end up beating up every guy who asks you out," Bra said reasonably, trailing a finger around the rim of her glass.

"Do not," Pan said in a tone that would have been whiny if it wasn't so tired. "Most of 'em just have a problem with me. Being stronger then them."

"Fine," Bra replied. "They're worried you're going to end up beating them up. With kinda good reason, I might add. Don't you agree, Goten-kun?"

"'Bout what?" Goten blinked, still unused to the role of Wise Married Guy and not naturally inclined to pay attention to the ramblings of teenaged girls under any circumstance.

"About Pan-chan being a tomboyish boy-beating psychopath," Bra chirped, getting a whap on the arm from said boy-beating psychopath and grinning madly as a result.

"Um… maybe you could stop beating people? Or date people that don't mind being beat up?"

Bra gasped. "That's perfect! Pan-chan, you should date Uub-kun!"

Goten blinked. "I think I meant she should find a masochist, actually."

Pan wrinkled her nose. "Uub? He's like my cousin or something. Every time I look at him I think of grandpa."

Bra rested her chin on her palm. "True… hey, how about #17! He's cute in a… way."

Pan giggled. "But Marron-san's my aunt now, right? So I'd be dating my aunt's uncle." Goten choked into his coffee.

Bra nodded thoughtfully. "That's a good point. I guess there aren't really many people around here that couldn't be beat up by you... no single ones, anyway."

Goten hesitated before bringing it up, not quite willing to face the possibility of the nasty, nasty mental images that came with the idea. "Um… isn't Trunks-kun single?" He asked, more for the sake of curiosity then a desire to see his best friend and niece together.

Bra blinked. "'Niichan's straight?"

Had they not already been sitting down, Pan and Goten would have fallen over.

Goten sniggered. "Sexually repressed like you wouldn't believe, but I'm pretty sure he's straight."

Pan looked thoughtful. "It is true that I would have trouble beating him up…" she said slowly, before realizing what she was saying. "Not that that is what I do to my boyfriends!" she added with a glare at Bra, who grinned again.

"So basically, you'd be a perfect match!" Bra said triumphantly. "And it would be so cool if you were my sister!"

"Um," Pan said, "Who said anything about dating Trunks? I mean… he's Trunks."

Bra looked disappointed for a second before getting a more sinister look on her face instead - of course, with Pan and Goten being genetically predisposed to obliviousness, it flew over their heads completely.

"That's true," she chirped. "I doubt you'd be able to get him to agree to date you anyway, what with the sexual repressed-ness and all. I mean, it would take someone a lot cuter then you to even _try_ to do something like seduce my older brother."

Pan's eye twitched. "I am _so_ cute."

"Oh _sure_!" Bra said, voice getting sweeter by the moment, "Just not nearly cute enough."

"Bet I am!" Pan said stubbornly.

"If you _say_ so," Bra replied, throwing just the right note of doubt in her voice. Inwardly, she congratulated herself and reminded herself to sign up for acting school after high school.

"Bet you that I could get Trunks to sleep with me within a week if I put my mind to it!" Pan persisted.

Goten suddenly had a series of deeply disturbing mental images and lost all of his appetite. He was suddenly reminded as to _why_ he usually didn't associate with teenaged girls, especially those related to him and his best friend.

"Done!" Bra said triumphantly.

Pan blinked. "…Did I just say what I think I did?"

"Yes," Goten replied miserably.

"You bet'cha!" Bra chirped.

Pan was filled with foreboding. Somewhere far, far away, Trunks was too - but he dismissed it as his normal "I hate work" stomachache, being not only sexually repressed but far too naïve for his own good.

Somewhere else, Marron excused herself to go lie down in the bedroom, curse her husband several times over, and decide that morning sickness really _was_ the route of all evil.

How right she was.

* * *

_to be continued..._


End file.
